The Things That Don’t Need to Be Useful

By Bear

October 13, 2026

Somewhere in the world, there is a person who owns seventeen decorative spoons and has absolutely no intention of eating with them.

Seventeen.

Not sixteen. Not eighteen.

Seventeen perfectly respectable spoons whose entire purpose, apparently, is to sit on a shelf and be admired.

Perhaps they’re painted with flowers. Perhaps they commemorate places their owner has visited. Perhaps one features a suspiciously enthusiastic goose.

Whatever the case, someone will eventually ask the inevitable question:

“What are you going to do with all those spoons?”

And the owner will answer:

“Look at them.”

This answer, despite being entirely reasonable, will somehow be considered insufficient.

Because somewhere along the way, we developed a peculiar habit.

We began expecting everything to justify its existence.

And I think it’s time we had a conversation about that.